PriorityPlusOne

A month now and we hadn't seen ourSoldier, yes he calls as much as he can. The boys are usually elated hearing from their father. Telling him all kinds of things and of course the standard question, 'when are you coming home Papa?' One of those slowwwww Sunday evenings, when all is done and it is 'me time.' I have no new book, no new movies, phone is boring, The Bible, we were at Church earlier today. I ended up staring at the ceiling for I don't know how long....I was awakened by huge vibration-my phone calling, it's MySoldier:) 'Listen myWife, I have tonight off, let me send you a driver, pack a dress for work tomorrow, you will find me here.' And the line went dead. 💃🏾There are no words that can actually describe the mood that tunes in when spending time with MySoldier is a possibility. Dinner untouched, we had spent less than an hour together and it's that number calling...'yes sir, ok sir, right away sir,' In 20 minutes, I was back at staring at the ceiling, as it stares back at me. Silently. Then I realized I preferred my old faithful ceiling more than this fancy one...! I have learned to find an answer to everything or at least know where to find one. I have learned to parent alone. Ok, for the most part. Because, like I mentioned previously, the army is his first wife (first family and it's even beyond priority....it is #PriorityPlusOne) the earlier I learned, digested and accepted this, I soldier on. Well truth is, it doesn't get easier but putting on my big-girl panties often (also read as The grace of God), I get stronger for me, for the boys, for ourSoldier and for the entire household. Amen. #bekindtooneanother#

The perfection in ArmySpousing..

Not that I am still looking for my charger really...what excuse do i have this time? Bianca. Yes Bianca! Story for another day (soon hopefully)

I recently saw a meme in which a daughter was asking her mother whether there is such thing as a perfect man. "Of course, dear. They're called Soldiers," responded her mother.

Perfect literally means to be completely free from faults

If only the daughter had asked her mother to 'throw more light' or if only i could have a mini conversation with this mother. Just to share into her perspective.

I do not know if I've had harsh life experiences or that mother was only being a mother...tooth fairy or Santa Claus kinda tales but a perfect spouse does not exist; nor does the perfect boss, nor the perfect friend. We could avoid a lot of disappointments by simply understanding that no matter how much you love people, no matter how much they love you, at some point, they won’t live up to your expectations.

Lucky for me (yes) I am an army wife I can relate a little with this perfection. A little because we have only been together with my Soldier 7years and counting. Secondly, a little because through this journey, I have had to put on my big girl panties A LOT; The Army is his first wife. The sooner you learn, digest and accept that, the better for you, your soldier, the children and the entire household. By the way, it doesn't get easier, you just get stronger. 

You have got to be okay with parenting alone for the most part. You have to find an answer for everything, or at least know where to find one, that amount of stress is indescribable.

You have got to be okay with your Soldier missing almost all the special stuff; birthdays, holidays, anniversaries or wait for it...the birth of your baby. Lately, most mornings after a bath, I struggle running lotion over the lower parts of my body...then I silently wonder if in 'normal' marriages, husbands readily help out their expecting wives with such little yet huge gestures. 

You got to be okay with killing all the spiders, humongous roaches, checking out every weird sound in the wake of the night, attending village meetings by yourself....must have mechanics, plumbers, carpenters, painters, welders etc contacts but in most cases you become a star at all these in DIY (cost cutting)

You got to be okay with the perfection that will make you forget the previous hustle, 'f' the butterflies, and feel the whole zoo when your soldier is finally home.

I bet those moments right there, are exactly what that mother was referring to. They're truly perfect.

But as they say, time flies past so fast when you're having fun....before you know it, your Soldier is off again following his dreams which makes this solo hustle an immense honor!



 *bekindtooneanother*

I finally made it💃🏾

It's unbelievable that I have finally arrived here! By here, I mean actually typing away...its been ages. Ok feels as if...

But unfortunately my battery is running low, I don't even know (preggersblues) where my charger or power backup are...

I will definitely be back. Now that i am here, I am!!


*Be kind to one another *

 Mio dolce amor, 

 'If only I were a clever woman, I could describe to you my gorgeous bird, how you unite in yourself the beauties of form, plumage, and song!
I would tell you that you are the greatest marvel of all ages, and I should only be speaking the simple truth.  But to put all this into suitable words, my superb one, I should require a voice far more harmonious than that which is bestowed upon my species - for I am the humble owl that you mocked at only lately, therefore, it cannot be.
I will not tell you to what degree you are dazzling and to the birds of sweet song who, as you know, are none the less beautiful and appreciative.
I am content to delegate to them the duty of watching, listening and admiring, while to myself I reserve the right of loving; this may be less attractive to the ear, but it is sweeter far to the heart.
I love you.  my Moses; I can not reiterate it too often; I can never express it as much as I feel it.
I recognize you in all the beauty that surrounds me  in form, in color, in perfume, in harmonious sound: all of these mean you to me. You are superior to all.  I see and admire - you are all!
You are not only the solar spectrum with the seven luminous colors, but the sun himself, that illumines, warms, and revivifies!  This is what you are, and I am the lowly woman that adores you.'

Your wife,
Hk.

***Juliette Drouet's love letter to Victor Hugo says it all for me.

The Christ like touch

When US airspace was closed after the September 11, 2001 attacks, planes had to land at the closest airport available. Nearly 40 planes landed in Gander, Newfoundland (literally). Suddenly this small Canadian community almost doubled in size when thousands of frightened passengers arrived. People opened their homes and officials converted high schools, lodges, churches and meeting halls into places to stay.

Stranded passengers were overwhelmed with neighborly generosity and kindness. The people of Gander showed the kind of love described in Hebrews 13. 'Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels.'

This prolly is referring to Abraham when he entertained three men who came to tell him that he would soon have a son (Gen 18:1-16). Two of the 'men' were angels, and one was the angel of the Lord.

I believe that among the Jews, Abraham was regarded as outstanding for his hospitality as he was for his other virtues.

A true son of Abraham must be hospitable too! God calls believers to show their love and gratefulness for Him in their good works of hospitality and compassion.

How will you answer His call today? How many lives shall you touch today? How many neighbors will pass your way?
You can bless so many and help so much, if you meet each one with a Christ-like touch!

Be kind to one another :-) 

 

- Unknown -

Jump! Embrace Change.

I heard the ‘boiling frog story’ for the first time. More an anecdote than a story, it goes like this: a frog will jump out if placed in a pan of boiling water, but if submerged in cold water that is heated very slowly, the frog won’t jump out and will actually allow itself to be cooked to death.

Haven’t all of us, at some point in our life, remained in situations that weren’t good for us, that were slowly damaging our body or mind or soul, and yet we couldn’t quite make that jump? It might have been fear, or apathy, or rationalization that kept us in that unhealthy situation… until finally we were forced to jump or “die” (or the other person jumped first, leaving us feeling like the boiled frog that was stupidly left behind).
After a quick internet search, I was relieved to learn this story isn’t factual (modern biologists have tried it with real frogs and failed). Although 19th century researchers claim to have seen this behavior in frogs and that’s where the story began, today the tale is merely a metaphor for people’s inability to react to gradual changes that ultimately may be harmful to them. That became clear from my research, as well as the reason why this story was still resonating with me hours later.

For me, change has always been hard and I have been the frog in the pan more than once. The boiling water that creeps up on me gradually — threatening to harm my spirit — is not something in the external world, but my own refusal to accept uncontrollable changes in my life. It’s my desire to hold on to what I have and keep it the way it is… if only I could really do that.

I’m not sure if it’s just my age group, but it seems many of my friends also have had a remarkably trying year and had to jump to save their lives. They feel as displaced as I do from the security of past times. For some friends, economic circumstances have forced them to make profound changes. Others have faced huge ill health struggles. My best friend is dealing with a stroke, while others I know are struggling with empty nest, job burnout or an unemployed status they didn’t deserve. Everyone has had to jump from the life they once knew into unchartered territory, reluctantly leaving the safety zone to which they had grown accustomed.
I think the hardest lesson for us is that our lives don’t always turn out the way we wanted. People die, marriages break up, people we trusted let us down and dreams we have don’t always come true. And as we get older and have lived long enough to fail at something we worked very hard at, we are confronted with the fact that loss is a part of life. The resilience of youth fades a bit and we don’t bounce back as easily from these changes and disappointments.

I think the message from all of this, at least for me, is to stop resisting change and to accept the realities of life, even when it’s the last thing I wanted to happen. Because we live in an imperfect world, heartbreaking loss and injustice can be our personal reality at times. It’s quite disillusioning when something really bad happens, like death or betrayal, but the real failure would be to let this kill our optimism and belief in life. So in essence, the leap we really need to make in the midst of change, more than anything else, is a leap of faith . . . faith in the future, faith that new possibilities and people will be waiting for us ahead once we finally let go of what we had.

..with Alison Patton.

Looks or Brains?

I have heard of ladies acting bimbo to ‘keep’ their men. I still don’t understand that art. Do you like (burn) throw out all your books? Be careful not to have any original thoughts? Say cute words when you are angry? Only talk about hair and hair products? Be a number one fan of Holly Madison, meaning you mostly dress like her?!

I had an early meeting with a potential client, who asked to meet at his place of comfort-one of the many mini-restaurants on Luwum Street. He was not on time, so i was subjected to a little TV set draped up the wall; blaring out local videos from one female ‘artist’ to another; must have been a request show… Common features of these ‘artists’ include; Pouring-squeezed-out-of-life boobies, really ‘big behinds’ (not too sure about the authenticity), cakes of colorful makeup on their by the way pretty faces and auto tune music.

Funnily, these ‘artists’ seem to be enjoying whatever they think they are doing. I very much doubt an a Capella would come through if any of them was zeroed on (pun intended). Are these ladies simply succumbing to the forces of demand and supply? Is the audience only interested in their bodies and not their brains? Or is it more profitable to feed the bodies than to feed the minds? Pity local male artists! What do they have to display? We cant blame them for taking the obscene road and coming up with repulsive songs…that highly trend!

Anyway in the long run,  whatever puts food on your table, is your greatest asset. if it is acting bimbo, if it is flaunting those things, knock yourself out for as long as it is close to legit and the law of demand and supply prevails!

Be kind to one another!

'Make love not War'

OK - So many stories running in my country; very old men 'sodomizing' little boys; pupils of the same biological features 'indulging in sexual acts'  (http://www.newvision.co.ug/article/fullstory.aspx?story_id=641853&catid=6&mid=53), many more fellow ladies into Ladies and of course men into men in fact cohabiting! I havent heard of the transgender in here though...other than that of 'Audrey' in Kenya recently. 
I know this is one of those areas we would rather not talk about. Not that it's revered but because our society has built it to be disgraceful, appalling and all those other abomination words you may think of. Truth is LGBT is alive, kicking and growing.

According to the 2007 Pew Global Attitudes Project, 96 percent of Ugandan residents believe that homosexuality is a way of life that society should not accept, which was the fifth-highest rate of non-acceptance in the 45 countries surveyed. A poll conducted in 2010, however, revealed that 11 percent of Ugandans viewed homosexual behavior as being morally acceptable. Among other members of the East African Community, only 1 percent in Tanzania, 4 percent in Rwanda, and 1 percent in Kenya had the same view. (Burundi was not surveyed, while Southern Sudan was not yet born.)
In November 2012, the speaker of the Parliament of Uganda promised to enact a revised anti-homosexuality bill, providing for harsher penalties against suspected LGBT people and anyone who fails to report them to authorities, including long-term imprisonment and the death penalty for what the law terms "repeat offenders".

The Bible is interpreted by officials in some denominations as condemning the practice. In the twentieth and twenty-first centuries, however, the extent to which the Bible mentions the subject and whether or not it is condemned, has become the subject of debate.
Passages in the Old Testament book Leviticus that prohibit 'lying with mankind as with womankind' and the story of Sodom and Gomorrah have historically been interpreted as condemning homosexual acts, as have several Pauline passages. Other interpreters, however, maintain that these passages do not condemn homosexuality, saying that historical context suggests other interpretations or that rare or unusual words in the passages may not be referring to homosexuality.

I see tee shirts with huge wordings 'Make love not war.' Whoever coined that slogan should be added on the-great-thinkers list! Whether The Bible, The Statute or all of them are anti or pro LGBT , Lets simply tolerate each other after all, we are all sinners. I am a full blown 'Straight' individual that has come to accept the 'we are the same yet so different' philosophy which if all of us subscribed to, 'making love' would be as simple as 1, 2, 3. 
In fact, my President likes to say  issues of sexual nature are not of public discussion in the African culture! So how about we live with one another silently in love and not war.

However, Zero Tolerance on the older people that ruin minors!

Be kind to one another.

The Overrated things in life...just 4!

'Why don't they let the guy go?' 'Let him rest already!' These and more have been the comments i have heard over time since the South African anti-apartheid revolutionary and politician, Nelson Mandela has been in (mostly) and out of hospital.

So is Life one of those things that are overrated? Would you want to hold onto it even if you were senile, diseased and now a burden to family and friends? Let's assume you have lived to the fulleth, left no stones unturned and now (for many) are a great, great grandparent. I don't want to say a thing about those that give up on it through suicide-needless to say, life is overrated to them. How about for those that have failed to find Purpose in life? The homeless? the victims of absolutely failed states? those on life-sentence? the starved and abandoned children? And more...
Early this year, i attended a funeral service of our President's childhood and (best) friend who died at age 67. The seemingly sad President insisted that his friend had departed too soon! Just about a month before, the President 'laid to rest' his father at age 96! He categorically made it clear that his friend had 'died' while his father had 'rested'. Again i ask, is life overrated? I think it all depends on where you are standing.


Then, Academic Papers-precisely a University Degree! Let's not indulge much on this because we all know the world's most creative, brilliant and wealthiest (ladies) gentlemen of all time could not make the cut in school but are today's most admired fellows in terms of knowledge, innovation,  i could go on!
Academic papers are way overrated.

An apartment with a view! With time, the excitement for this particular view just fades. In fact months could go by without a glimpse of that beauty outside your home, yet it cost (s) you an arm and a leg! Certainly, when you were on the hunt for a new home, this was a must-have!

Christopher Eric Hitchens (RIP), a British-American author and journalist was once profiled in The New Yorker (2006) where he also, declared his four most overrated things in life including; Champagne, Lobsters, anal sex and picnics. I want to agree with his number three. *Seemylife*

What's your overrated list like? Remember, overrated things are not just bad things-global warming, child theft, etc...Overrated things are good-just not that good!!

Be kind to one another.

My Baby.

They say or did i read somewhere about passion, nature and failure. That when we do something we are passionate about, things happen naturally and there are zero chances of failure.

Well, the Lord has granted me a beautiful, beautiful opportunity in that line. 
I am still digesting it, a normal person (whose feelings are not for searching first) would be elated! Me, on the other hand, i am still digesting it...its day two now since i got the news. Yes, you can say it, i have duh! i know.
Lets see how next week starts and goes, surely by Friday i should have a normal people's reaction.

I called it my Baby because i am prepared to go the extra mile and more to make it happen. So help me God.

Details and more...shall be coming through more swiftly. Your continued support is deeply appreciated.

Be kind to one another.

Phoenix Rebirth

Don’t know where to begin…it’s been a while! A few updates, John is doing awesomely. Thanks for joining me in Prayer, his ill health crashed us and took us a hundred steps back. But he’s beaten all of it hands down and he continues to be better each day. I keep telling him how super proud I am of him! Please continue to Pray for his full recovery, revival and renewal…Amen!

I was having a conversation with another great friend I refer to as Bluto last evening. He’s going through lots and lots of challenges at work. You know how it gets with mergers. BTW it doesn’t spare you the jumble if you are the acquirer…it’s a whole total mess. Someone somewhere should come up with quick, easy universal applicable solutions.

Obviously pep-talking him, because we go through this almost every day but this time, before he even shared how his day went, I had spent the day with John and seeing how he’s fought and won over this damn ill health, the Phoenix Rebirth came to mind.

Picture the Phoenix rebirth! He put down his beer and indeed pictured…

A Phoenix is a mythical bird with fiery plumage that lives up to a 100 years. Near the end of its life, it settles into its nest of twigs. And there, it burns ferociously, reducing bird and nest to ashes. It’s from this burning, from these ashes, a fledgling Phoenix rises-renewed and reborn.

Maybe sometimes we need to let ourselves be frustrated and impatient. Life is messy itself; the attempt to clean it up is one fruitless journey…because things happen in their own time anyway. The seasons of every experience has to run their course, the best we can do is ride the waves, knowing we have very little control over what happens.

In short, like John always told me, ‘this too shall pass.’ Indeed!

After burning ferociously, the fog lifts, the dark clouds move on…and you will begin to see with fresh eyes. There! Right there, sanity has returned! One day you will realize that you are happy again, that you are thriving. That you have been through fire and came out whole and renewed.

What am I trying to say today?

a.        Let’s let things happen.

b.       Don’t lose sight of what you hold as truth.

c.        It’s OK to feel the emotions, at the time is right.

d.       Reach out for support.

e.       Take care of yourself.

f.         And Hang in there…#this too shall pass.

John I can smell your rebirth...:-)

That Smile, mehhnn!!

I finally got that smile. The zillion dollar smile (now i know what it actually means). After 50 days of your silence..you lightened up my Sunday evening-10/02/2013.

Thank you for fighting, thank you beating this hands dowwwwn! I had no doubt you would, thank you:-)
I look forward to seeing you up and about again soonest.

Wishing you a quick and full health restoration! 

All my love,
Hk.

I am soo proud of you!

Darling,

I had no doubt we would beat this hands down! i know its going to be baby steps all the way...but we will get there!

This too shall pass!

I miss you#get well soonest.

This too shall pass!

Warrup, WarrupJ

How are you today? Oh how I miss you. Your silliness. Your brilliance. Your friendship. Just you. I miss you soo much.

I remember our last conversation on Thursday night, you made me laugh so hard- I asked if you were going to use public means for your little niece’s christening and you recall what you answered? Hehehe…i am still laughing! I miss you, get better already!

Today you left for Nairobi, I know you are strong, you will do wonders and come back home all well. My family sends you get-well-soonest wishes! Like you always said, this too shall pass. Indeed.

You make my days John, please pull through this asap. I need you.

All my love.

You are stronger than this my love!

My JFKK!

You are so much like your Dad, my God! Humble, brilliant in every way!

I didn’t check on you today though. I am here in hospital too. My niece is not well either, so we’ve been admitted. As I write this, I am watching her fourth drip get done. I know just like you, she will beat this.

You always make nights like these very light for me. Make me laugh so hard, stay up with me. I wish I could do the same for you sweetheart. 
Guess I can only keep cheering you on to push harder and let’s beat this illness hands down!!

I know you are stronger in all ways my love and like you always tell me, this too shall pass.

Talk to you tomorrow…Mwaaaah!Love you forever.

You are stronger than any illness, Beat it already!

My Kanyana, 

My calming sense of being. My friend. My confidant. My brilliant one. My love. It’s amazing how hilarious you are, there is always something incredible you will say. I have built my world around you, your wonderful spirit and intelligence. It is harder to imagine life without you. You are my safe place. 

You are my safe place and I refuse to imagine life without you. You have to beat this ill-health. You have to. There is already progress and i am so proud of you! Push harder my love. You have to be all well, you have to.

Get all well soonest my JFKK.

Love you today, tomorrow and always.

Updates for my Meri..

We are all in admiration of you. We still cannot find the appropriate words to express our gratitude. You are a trophy mother! You have set the bar up high; we can only surpass it or surpass it. 

Wow! Thank you Mummy for such a pleasant surprise, none of us saw it coming. Anyway who am I kidding, if you planned it 20 years back together with God…it definitely had to be a triumph!J

You are the greatest mother we will ever know. How blessed are we that we are your very own?! Thank you!

All our Love, Kisses and Hugs.