'Make love not War'

OK - So many stories running in my country; very old men 'sodomizing' little boys; pupils of the same biological features 'indulging in sexual acts'  (http://www.newvision.co.ug/article/fullstory.aspx?story_id=641853&catid=6&mid=53), many more fellow ladies into Ladies and of course men into men in fact cohabiting! I havent heard of the transgender in here though...other than that of 'Audrey' in Kenya recently. 
I know this is one of those areas we would rather not talk about. Not that it's revered but because our society has built it to be disgraceful, appalling and all those other abomination words you may think of. Truth is LGBT is alive, kicking and growing.

According to the 2007 Pew Global Attitudes Project, 96 percent of Ugandan residents believe that homosexuality is a way of life that society should not accept, which was the fifth-highest rate of non-acceptance in the 45 countries surveyed. A poll conducted in 2010, however, revealed that 11 percent of Ugandans viewed homosexual behavior as being morally acceptable. Among other members of the East African Community, only 1 percent in Tanzania, 4 percent in Rwanda, and 1 percent in Kenya had the same view. (Burundi was not surveyed, while Southern Sudan was not yet born.)
In November 2012, the speaker of the Parliament of Uganda promised to enact a revised anti-homosexuality bill, providing for harsher penalties against suspected LGBT people and anyone who fails to report them to authorities, including long-term imprisonment and the death penalty for what the law terms "repeat offenders".

The Bible is interpreted by officials in some denominations as condemning the practice. In the twentieth and twenty-first centuries, however, the extent to which the Bible mentions the subject and whether or not it is condemned, has become the subject of debate.
Passages in the Old Testament book Leviticus that prohibit 'lying with mankind as with womankind' and the story of Sodom and Gomorrah have historically been interpreted as condemning homosexual acts, as have several Pauline passages. Other interpreters, however, maintain that these passages do not condemn homosexuality, saying that historical context suggests other interpretations or that rare or unusual words in the passages may not be referring to homosexuality.

I see tee shirts with huge wordings 'Make love not war.' Whoever coined that slogan should be added on the-great-thinkers list! Whether The Bible, The Statute or all of them are anti or pro LGBT , Lets simply tolerate each other after all, we are all sinners. I am a full blown 'Straight' individual that has come to accept the 'we are the same yet so different' philosophy which if all of us subscribed to, 'making love' would be as simple as 1, 2, 3. 
In fact, my President likes to say  issues of sexual nature are not of public discussion in the African culture! So how about we live with one another silently in love and not war.

However, Zero Tolerance on the older people that ruin minors!

Be kind to one another.

My Baby.

They say or did i read somewhere about passion, nature and failure. That when we do something we are passionate about, things happen naturally and there are zero chances of failure.

Well, the Lord has granted me a beautiful, beautiful opportunity in that line. 
I am still digesting it, a normal person (whose feelings are not for searching first) would be elated! Me, on the other hand, i am still digesting it...its day two now since i got the news. Yes, you can say it, i have duh! i know.
Lets see how next week starts and goes, surely by Friday i should have a normal people's reaction.

I called it my Baby because i am prepared to go the extra mile and more to make it happen. So help me God.

Details and more...shall be coming through more swiftly. Your continued support is deeply appreciated.

Be kind to one another.

Yeah, i am still all about gratitude...

My Pumba,

Thank you for asking how i am doing, and actually wanting to hear the answer.

Thank you for being genuinely happy for my success and good fortune, as if it were your own.

Thank you for forgiving my faults and immature lapses in judgement, and for tolerating my idiosyncrasies.

Thank you for being my friend always, not just when it was convenient.

Thank you for being honest with me when i really needed you to be.

Thanks for letting me vent, and trusting me enough to tell me what's bothering you.

Thank you for making time for me and not letting time or distance affect our friendship.

Thank you for hugs, smiles, inside jokes and memories.

And thank you for understanding that i could never write a long enough blog post to express how much you mean to me.
Thank you!!

Cherishing friendships - 5

My academic boyfriend,

Still remember the first time I called you this name, LOL-if you had a gun that day, I would be among the dead todayJ!  You are my blessing from God. I couldn’t possibly make this journey alone. You make it feel better each day.  You make it feel normal. You give it purpose. Thank you my friend. thank you!

Guess what; 13 months away…who knew?!

Cherishing friendships - 4

My LindaB,

We bumped into each other in the ladies many years ago. But still, how hadn’t we met considering that bank was such a small family?! It had been a rough day at work. I usually had a moment with God before embarking on work but that day, we had an early general staff meeting and my routine suffered till in the afternoon when boom! I met my LindaB doing exactly what I had come to do in my exact spot! Well, long story short, we held hands and prayed together. Just like it is said; a family that prays together stays together. Here we are.

You looove God; you are literally after God’s own heart. You are harrrdworking; you have a huge sense of business; who plans for retirement at that tender ageJ You have enough love to give every one, lucky to share in your life. You are one person I can count on to endure the rain and give me her only umbrella; my hair was due for a wash anyway, you would say. You are deep. You care about stuff. You engage with your world. You want to make things better. Not so many people are like you.  You make me a better person. For all this and more, I thank you my friend.

MuaaahJ

Cherishing friendships - 3

My Kanyana,

My calming sense of being. My friend. My confidant. My other extreme-LOL! Though you refuse it… It’s amazing how hilarious you are, there is always something incredible you will say. I have built my world around you, your wonderful spirit and intelligence. It is harder to imagine life without you.

You are my safe place. Thank you.

Cherishing friendships - 2

My Twisted one,

Still beats me how God created two of us soo alike yet so different!  

When emotions have me all over the place for whatever reasons, you will almost get a rod and if it were possible, hit me! Emotions are for weaklings, you say. My response: It is universally allowed for a normal girl to fall apart for a little while, madam.

Sometimes I wish we had met at birth, maybe then you would have instigated in me the ‘street smart’ tricks that I usually envy but not when they get you all shaky and asking me to Pray for the situation to pass quick and smoothlyJ

You are a gift to me from God-You are literally Beautiful. You are Strong headed. You are Constant.  You are very Kind. You are Crazzzy. You are Reliable. You my twisted one, are one hardworking girl! WOW!

Thank you SO much my love, for everything in life that we’ve thus shared and still sharing… I am glad it is with you! Thank you for showing me the difference between friends and friendships.

May God continue to bless the works of your hands! May He grant you favor all the days of your life! May He grant you perfect health and long life! May He bless you till the Blessed, call you blessed!

MuaaahJ

Cherishing friendships - 1

My Bluto,

You have challenged so many of my preconceptions about life. You have changed the way I understand everything. You have helped me to stop listening to myself talk and start really hearing what other people are saying. You’ve realigned my priorities and reshaped my outlook on life. Hands down, you’ve made me much awesomer!

Thank you!
 Olive Oyl -------------

Creative juices, where art thou?

Writers' blocks or whatever they call it/them have attacked me and i can hardly write nothing much. Whatever is happening to me!?! But in the meantime as i try to look for my juices and get them going, have a wonderful weekend/month! 

Mehhn!! have you noticed it's September already???! I am super excited for every passing day....I dream of December, 2013!

bye for now, be kind to one another!

a noisy sleepless weekend (answ!)

My friend finally got the guts to break up with his girlfriend-now ex or so I think, these things, you just do not put your word-only listen. She was into other stuff. Even he knew but you know how that particular strength to finally walk away usually goes AWOL…and considering they were living together? Yep!

He asked to spend a weekend at my house just to give her time alone to pack up and go with minimum struggle. Friday night, we stay indoors…lots of TV and we head off to sleep.

My home is a basic house, even with doors locked; you will hear some activity in any of the rooms. Because it had been a terrible day for him (believe me ending any relationship has never been easy) I disregarded the noises coming from his room.

It is now coming to 4am and I am still awake! I decide to go check on him, maybe change his pillow or to change his sleeping posture.  We do all that but before I can even drift off, chief is at it again! I conclude, it’s the stress and the heavy heart. I put a pillow on my head and try to catch some sleep.

Saturday morning, chief is in a great mood, he has even made breakfast and I am wondering, isn’t he going to talk about last night? Nothing! Should I bring it up? No…he was only stressed. I silently conclude.

He drags me to the disco later that evening but because I do not drink nor dance and only stare-my eyes were tired by 2ish and we returned home.

I regretted why I left the disco! My dear friend was at it again, and with the whiskey on his head…JESUS! My heart went out to his ex! His kind of snoring, takes it all!

Ignorantly, I always thought this kind of snoring was for only bigger people. I stayed up all night, recorded his noises on camera just in case…also read up anything and everything about snoring-I needed to have a goodnight sleep the following night and above all, my friend had to get rid of it!

When I asked him if he knew he snored, ‘I do but once in a while. Like when I have a cold which is very rare.’ Do you have a cold now? I continued. ‘Nooo…are you saying?? No way -I had such beautiful sleep, I couldn’t have been snoring!’ he said proudly while walking away.

Hmmm!

Long story short, I hope he is faithfully taking his medication. Oh btw this is part of the healing process-accepting that he snores! He will kill me if attach the video here^_^

Get well soon buddy, the next girl has to find you smooth…;-)

06/26

Hmmm…it is true, things indeed change. Not so many years back, June used to be a fête month for me, my adrenaline was always wayyy up there…you know that bit when the Adrenal meter reads, ’to be continued?’ Yep! Flowers, flowers and more flowers. Cake, cake and cake. Wine, wine…Surprise parties, partying and more partying!

In about three years now, all this has changed and amazing how I don’t miss any of that! Oh may be the flowers, Mmmm…those I miss! What was I up to in this month three years back?

June, 2009; I bought myself a German machine that I baptized My Red Baby. She was all that I tell you…and so the whole of that month and the rest of the year, the adrenal were into her.

June 2010; it was the peak of my sister’s wedding and as you can imagine, I was buried in the final preps…and towards my birthday which was a week after the wedding, every one of us was exhausted! Luckily I was on leave, so I slept endlessly.

June 2011; generally, 2011 was not a good year for me. Lots of stress, lots of joylessness and sleeplessness…but it’s all in the flushed past.

And this year, oh wow! Where do I begin…so much to celebrate, soo much to be thankful for and sooo many more wonderful things ahead…2012 is only the beginning.

Oh I got cake today (inspiration for writing this piece) no alcohol, no parties and may be no flowers…but I am elated, in fact I feel like God’s favorite child, in seventh heaven basically...and looking forward to a zillion wonderful and purposeful years ahead.

Happy, happy birthday to meJ

Happy Easter!

I have since learned that if you are going to Love, then you also have to be open to getting hurt and disappointed.

Be kind to one another.

Hello, hellooo!

Hello, hellooo!

Boy! Blogging for me lately has become as difficult as trying to get a Kardashian to read a book! First, school resumed a month plus back, too much home work…about to hire one of those guys. Has anyone watched Suits? I could really use Michael’s help right now because it’s too late to want to be like him.

Then, new neighbors moved into the house next to mine. I do not know if they brought along rats or if the recession is affecting them too and so they have decided to raid home after home?? Have they come by yours? Been living here for four years and I have never seen this very unwanted visitor…my lifestyle has not changed much to attract rats, I blame it on my new neighbors! So when home, instead of perhaps blogging, I am on the hunt for Mr. Rat & family.

We met about 3 years back and somehow we never got along very well, stepped on his toes once, twice… yeah. You know how things get when you don’t quite understand or know someone especially if they look nice. Then my life had a few changes and this person was totally forgotten!

Honestly unintentionally. But life as we know it; here we are again, no toe stepping…

Anyhooo…I have since learned that this person is one of the most intelligent people I know and what an honor for me?! You know what they say about the power of association…so I am still amazed at this brilliance and enjoying each day…

Do you really buy these excuses?

OK seriously, I have been a little distracted. But here I am again…

Be kind to one anotherJ

Love

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

'...it is not you, it is us'

In Summary

·         Men would rather slink quietly out of a relationship than give a woman the break up speech. And here is the reason why.

Once upon a time, back when MC Hammer’s pants were not regarded as hilarious or ridiculous, the phrase, “It’s not you, it’s me,” was the easiest way to break up with a woman. It worked. Women embraced it unquestioningly, perhaps even found some sort of peculiar consolation in it.

Then along came Sex and the City and the bottom fell off. Women wisened up. They demanded to be ditched in a more dignified way. They demanded that men to be more ‘honest’ with them. They said, “Sod that excuse, Nick, I deserve better!” They demanded the absolute, bitter truth. As a result, there is, at this precise moment, a man who is with his woman but has already left her (the greatest oxymoron, if there ever was any). This man is wrestling with questions such as: “How do I leave her? How do I make a clean break? How do I make sure she doesn’t embed her high heels in my skull after I’ve said its over? Surely, I can’t leave her now when she just lost her job.” Actually, you should.

To illustrate, a true story: A friend of mine – let’s call him Manuel – sent me an email two months ago with a relationship conundrum. Things were slowly going south between him and his fiancée and for months he had wanted to break it off, but had not gathered enough courage to go through with it. She didn’t have an inkling he was battling with this problem; she thought Manuel was just stressed working the graveyard shift. Then, just when he had gathered the balls to break it off, she lost her job. Yes, I know! Indeed, bad things happen to good people… like Manuel. Anyway, she was devastated. She had bills to pay. She had a sick mom to buy medicine for back at home. She had a car loan and school fees to think of.

She cried daily. Her acne came back (OK, I made this one up). The only thing left unbroken in her life was good old Mani who, unbeknownst to her, had one foot out the door. Good old Mani was in what we call a catch 22 situation; damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

So when he sent me that email seeking my counsel, I didn’t hesitate to give it to him on the chin.

“Leave her now,” I said. “You will never have a better opportunity. The good Lord has opened this door, Mani boy. It’s a sign! Bolt when it’s still open,” I pleaded with him. He was shocked at my lack of compassion.

I told him it was mean to wait until she got a new job then dump her. You don’t dump someone when they have just recovered from one trauma; it’s better to dump her then so that she kills both traumas with one therapy session, as opposed to dealing with one and being on the path to recovery, only to have to deal with another.
“Come on, think of it more like doing her a favor,” I told him, “She won’t die, I promise.” So he dumped her. Guess what? She didn’t die. She now has a new job and a new man. And Manuel is dating someone else… who hasn’t lost her job yet. (And he owes me a bag for that sage advice, which I’m still waiting for. I have time.) See? Everybody is happy. All that’s well ends well.

The decision to leave a woman is never easy. Greater men have drunk themselves silly to find the Dutch courage they need to tell their women it’s over. Weak ones have written letters, and the even weaker ones have sent limp, defeated text messages. Hell, some have left town in the dead of the night. There is never a good way to say it’s over because all they will hear is, “I don’t want you anymore,” and everybody wants to be wanted even if they are not needed.
I find it surprising that women, with their glorified sixth sense, are not able to tell when their men are on their way out.

I mean, this pampered sixth sense can tell when your man is guilty of hanky panky or if your child has sprained her leg a thousand miles away, but it can’t tell you that your man wants out?!

Why does this sixth sense take a holiday when it’s needed the most? How can a man want to leave for six months and the woman not get a “funny feeling in my bones,” as they always say? It can only be denial.

A while back, in the media, there was that story about the bride who was left at the altar by the groom who chose digging up his shamba over saying ‘I do’. I remember asking myself: where was her sixth sense? Didn’t she see any signs at all?

Women always say, “Look if you are tired of this, just let me know. Just tell me the truth.” Only a drunken fool believes that. Sure, women can handle the truth, but can we handle our own truths?

Men are scared to confront the reality so they dilly and dally, blame their jobs and anything else that they can get away with, and hope against hope that God will show them a sign – an open door, a burning bush. Something. Anything.

2011

Ehhh! Indeed what does not break you makes you. For me, 2011 began on shaky grounds, really shaky…

January to March:

1)    Had just resigned from my very fine job, I mean who does that?

2)   Made one resolution.

3)   Not a single person in my family wanted a thing to do with me.

4)   Not too sure about all my friends.

5)   My Jesus the Bills. The debts. For some reason they were all knocking at once!

6)   Hated picking up phone calls, I hated hearing a knock on my door, but loved good food (which meant mine or Faze2’s )

7)   No plan for today or tomorrow. Just indoors…mostly in bed.

8)   Amidst all this mayhem, a dear friend whisked me away for a holiday.

April to June:

1)    Drew a sketch plan for my life; the next three to five years.

2)   Made up with my family.

3)   Started school.

4)   Then anger, worry, disappointment, fear, depression took over my life.

5)   Never slept much… I was thankful for television. I watched everything and anything. I really did.

6)   Had a very depressing birthday.

7)   During my sleepless nights, I often chatted with a friend who mentioned that my joy river will only return if I let it…by getting up from the fall and starting to live a day at a time.

8)   Resumed my Sunday children’s ministry.

9)   Opened this blog. And I let it all out… Did someone say therapy was expensive?

July to August:

1)    God accepted me back.

2)   Became a part of my friends’ personal lives. Those who were wedding, giving birth, just coffee, movie or errands. I provided time for everyone.

3)   My family; my rock, my firm foundation. We were blessed with a beautiful Princess.

4)   Started smiling, laughing and living from the heart.

5)   Resumed my business…

6)   I aced my first set of exams!

September to December:

1)    Became a size bigger. I usually hate weighing scales…but because my little shorts stopped fitting, I had to know how and why!

2)   Finally made 3 friends at school.

3)   The economy is terrible and so my business is suffering, payments not coming through at all…

4)   A friend names their daughter after me (I still do not know whether to cry or laugh)

5)   Gunned down the first part of school! Happiness is killing me! Yesss, I also learned to celebrate the little things in life.

6)   My princess is sitting already! Don’t they grow up pretty fast?!

7)   Got myself a Christmas tree; my 2011 resolution.

8)    Celebrated Christmas for the first time in ten years. It was amazing!

9)   I feel the rain now, I think I will live!

  

Note:

Hesi, thank you for your love, endurance and true friendship!

Chichi, thank you for your love, thank you for the excitement you bring back into my life!

Kyanda, thank you for your love, thank you for true friendship, thank you for always holding my hand and showing me what to do!

Uggirl, thank you for being my number one fan!

Love you all and Happy, happy 2012!

:-(

Whenever we give up something that we really care about, we hope that the Universe will reward our selfless choice.

Breathe Gentle...Be Gentle...

Oh, oh I want to give you all of me - the underneath. Want you to show me imperfection is actually love I thought, cursed - I was cursed - Destined to be lonely - A circle in a world of squares, where nobody knows me ...
So with every footstep I must follow, the kissing moments I thought were impossible

Breathe gentle, be gentle don't leave me behind Cause love goes faster

Breathe gentle, be gentle never let me go when love goes faster

I will be gentle

See, photographs have only two dimensions, But love defies all logic in a picture... Above all that is physical, I'm falling, falling uncontrollably - it terrifies me
So if my compass fails me and I feel I'm walking blind, don't say goodbye

Don't let me hide Oh please don't let me spiral
Tortured by you, oh, sweet torture! I am a pirate - love my fortune

The walls have fallen now...the key is yours to turn - I'm breathing

Breathe gentle, be gentle don't leave me behind cause love goes faster

Breathe gentle, be gentle never let me go when love goes faster

I will be gentle

Every time I run somehow love is faster, without you loneliness is everlasting...

I still feel you but I hear you - loudly Screaming - "please wait for me" Cause I don't want to hurt you...and I don't want to lose this love this time.

Se cerco lo vedo L'amore va veloce e tu stai indietro Se cerchi mi vedi Il bene più segreto sfugge all'uomo che non guarda avanti mai. Oh, oh....

J